Thank you guys for the birthday wishes! Im really grateful for them despite me not being active lately.
Honestly its been rough for me to stay motivated and even return to many of my social accounts. I dont feel as confident as i had for the past few years and given my life's been up and down in a rollercoaster of depressive episodes and hard hitting life events, I kinda been isolating myself to keep everyone from worrying.
Ive been trying to reconnect with old friends and make new ones but i just feel even more alone than before due to losing some very close friends to life's everchanging roads and with a couple of them moving out of my home state and away from frequent contact.
I dont know what to do anymore. I just want to disappear as of late, to be honest. Not exist at all.
But thats just me being me i guess. People may think otherwise of me but this year has been rough especially on my self worth, esteem and my overall mental health.
Ive been used for my artwork, accused of being a snitch or vengeful, and ive been left in the dust, lied too or ignored. Hell even plans to move on with my life outside of my little town fell through.
I try to go out of my comfort zone, and try to be more sociable but i end up feeling like im doing something wrong or being an annoyance.
I honestly dont have any motification left to be human.
So yea, its kinda of a rollercoaster of emotions right now.
I may as well slowly fade into obscurity.